What should I wear to a funeral?

Choosing what to wear to a funeral is an outfit dilemma you don’t really want to find yourself in. This blog is designed to help that decision as simple and stress-free as possible.

Choosing what to wear to a funeral is an outfit dilemma you don’t really want to find yourself in, and it may be a little overwhelming however it doesn't have to be.

You don’t have to buy a new outfit for a funeral. Especially if you don’t have the time or inclination to venture to the shops at this time. Your outfit should be the perfect mix of allowing you to feel comfortable and suitable to your surroundings.

If you don’t feel comfortable dressing all in black, perhaps opt for darker tones such as navy, dark green or grey. However there are no rules when it comes to what to wear to a funeral.

Some people will prefer to stick to the typical funeral attire of all dark clothing, some will opt for a colourful dress, or maybe an accessory in the deceased's favourite colour and others will come dressed as they normally would. It's about celebrating the deceased, and just as importantly, your uniqueness and identity. And it shouldn't matter. Long gone are the days of dressing in mourning colours and the funeral director being in a top hat and cane!

What is appropriate to wear at a funeral?

Traditionally, it was common for funerals to have a black dress code, with mourners opting for something smart and respectful. Usually something below the knee or a trouser suit. That is fine in some settings, particularly a church.

Have the family asked you to wear an item of a specific colour? Perhaps it was the deceased’s favourite colour. If you don't feel comfortable wearing full colour, perhaps opt for an accessory, such as a scarf, tie or earrings to achieve this. Colourful personalised funerals are becoming more popular and you can read more about these here.

You may choose to opt for something that is more relaxed. Jeans and a shirt or blouse? Or a summer dress with sandals? It really doesn't matter what you wear and we always encourage families to dress in what they feel comfortable in.

Sunglasses are appropriate at a funeral, particularly if you don’t want to feel watched or if things get too much for you.

What isn’t appropriate to wear at a funeral?

There aren't and shouldn't be any rules when it comes to funeral attire. Some families might prefer you to wear dark clothing, and sometimes we find that attendees at the funeral opt for dark clothing as it's their go to and what they have always done. We've all seen funeral mourners on the tv and so we gravitate towards images such as Kate Middleton for inspiration.

We have also seen funerals where the attendees have worn smart casual or an item of a certain colour. All have been appropriate and perfect for the funeral.

When we organise funerals at the natural woodland burial ground in Pwllheli, we actively encourage less formal attire. Wellies or trainers being mandatory!!

Helpful tips for what to wear at a funeral

• Consider bringing a jacket to wear, as venues can get cold.
• An outfit with pockets will alleviate the need to search for tissues.
• Smart but comfortable shoes are a must. Avoid stilettos if you will be attending a burial so you don't get stuck in the mud! Or bring a change of shoes with you.
• Hats or headwear can be appropriate, just remember smaller is better so you don’t block someone else’s view in the funeral service.

What can children wear to funerals

Children can wear something smart or casual – it’s more relaxed these days for them to attend.

Dressing for a winter or summer funeral

Depending on the time of year, may mean you have to dress slightly differently at a funeral.

If it’s a hot day, you may opt for a lighter weight dress, skirt or suit. You are not expected to wear suits.

During winter funerals, when the weather is colder, it’s standard practice to opt for layers and a coat, scarf and gloves is a good idea.

Religious funeral dress code

If you are attending a religious funeral, then you should make yourself aware of the customs which are followed by that particular faith. A summary of the different faiths are noted below:

• Catholic funerals – you are usually expected to wear dark, modest clothing.
• Buddhist funerals – the family of the deceased will traditionally wear white or cover themselves with a white cloth. Attendees are expected to wear simple black or dark clothing.
• Christian funerals – similar to Catholic funerals, etiquette encourages dark, modest clothing.
• Hindu funerals – unlike other religions, white is considered the primary colour of mourning at a Hindu funeral.
• Jewish funerals – black is most commonly worn at a Jewish funeral, but dark colours are also accepted.
• Muslim funerals – all attendees are required to dress modestly and wear black or dark colours.
• Sikh funerals – traditionally, in Asian culture, white is seen as the colour of mourning, however, black, navy or grey is more common if the funeral takes place in Western society.